Ivan Witenstein's work overwhelmed
me the first time I saw it. It was in a crowded group show at Audiello
Fine Arts. The collision of symbols and forms jutted, billowed,
and ultimately invaded my field of vision so aggressively I didn't
know how to take it. Then I tried to decipher them. I knew there
was something intelligent at work but still it was beyond me. It
wasnt until I read a piece on him in Beautiful Decay magazine
that it all fell into place. "Black Baptism", by the way,
is one of the best sculptures I've seen since Murakamis "My
Lonesome Cowboy" He seemed a perfect candidate for the 5 Words
Project. Seems I was right. Check it out:
What is scarier, the fact that world events have rendered Jello
Biafra's music relevant again or that the terrorists gave Peter
Jennings lung cancer? It's like my college advisor always said the
only thing wrong with going to Mars is you might get the Martian
This girl I knew thought that it was so funny that the numbers
on the speedometer in her '87 Toyota pick-up truck went up to 180
miles an hour. Every time I was in her truck she said, the only
way this car would go a hundred miles an hour is flying off of a
cliff then she would laugh a little. It didn't seem like a joke
when she said it.
To this day the best tattoo I ever saw was on this relatively young
guy's forearm. He was this short slight guy with a beard who worked
for the catering company that provided lunch for the day camp kids.
The tattoo was big block letters down the front of his arm that
read "You Are Dead To Me." I mean, how great, instead
of being saddled with the cliché tattooed name, which outlasts
the relationship, he waited until the relationship was over and
memorialized it forever out of anger and pain.
I had this sculpture that was supposed to go in front of a library
in New York, but when it was done everybody was scared that it was
racist, so they offered me an additional ten thousand dollars to
replace the black figure with Luke Skywalker. I declined but am
now kind of having second thoughts.
Women's responses to direct stimulation of the G-spot is identical
to the response of males when their prostate is stimulated. The
first few seconds of stimulation produces a strong feeling to urinate.
This feeling lasts from two to ten seconds, maybe longer, before
changing to distinct sexual enjoyment. Most women when faced with
this sensation hold back their sexual responses in fear of wetting
their partners. This might explain why up to 25% of American females
never have orgasms, they've learned early that to avoid embarrassment,
they have to hold back.
To see more work by Ivan go to derekeller.com.
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