Comments on: Treating Motherhood As A Job, Like Any Other

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:25:07 +0000

I found this essay through a friend who is a mother. It struck a chord with me for a different reason. As a woman who has chosen not to have children, I have often wondered what I will do once all my women friends become mothers. There will be certain things that I still want to do that they either cannot or will not. This will necessitate me making new friends. I would never cease being friends with my mother friends, but I can forsee us growing apart over time. It will take considerable work and effort on all our parts to maintain those friendships. So just to let everyone know that these feelings are felt on the other side of the fence too.

By: Jennifer Clements

Jennifer Clements — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 01:43:17 +0000

Dear Pamela,

You shot jelly beans from your nostrils?! You sound like my kind of mommy friend.

I loved reading your piece! Wonderful voice. I especially like the opening when you refer to your former life with Valerie; it gives the reader a good idea of your personality. And to close with notes about your checkered past is a nice bookend to the beginning. (And it leaves the reader wanting to know more about you.) I really enjoyed the overall theme of your piece about approaching motherhood like any other job when it comes to making friends. Very clever and right on. Good stuff! I hope to read more of your work on this site.

I recently wrote something (unpublished) about how much I hate playgroups. About how forced these events and the ensuing “friendships” are and how I just want no part of them (despite the guilt I feel about not properly socializing my wee lass). So to read your story was so refreshing. Good to know that there are other mommas out there who are like-minded about the whole making-mommy-friends thing.

Thanks for a wonderful read, Pamela!

Best,

Jen Clements

By: cheryl

cheryl — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:41:34 +0000

I am a mother of two children both girls, now 13 and 11. I always felt disgruntled about not being able to forge “real” relationships with women after having my children. Like the author, my friends and I shared so many intimate converstaions but we failed to really make a connection. Now I’m clearer as to why.

By: bo

bo — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 22:27:20 +0000

this is a fantastic piece — and one I expect Brain, Child to pick up or even literary mama. And I can so relate. My problem is I moved to a new town before having children, and REALLY looked to the other moms I met to be my new friends. When I think of the disappointments I’ve had over the past ten years, much boils down to the fact that I expected these folks I at with, changed diapers with, complained about mastitis with — that these things were making us good friends. And I fell hard when it turned out not to be the case. It’s so clear and simple in your piece, I don’t think I ever thought about it quite this way before. And now I feel quite stupid about all the years of feeling neglected, left out, and lonely, as my “friends” moved on with their kids to other schools, other activities, etc.. Which with my youngest 9 years old,is actually still a problem. Ah well. Great piece and has given me much to think about. That and the fact that I haven’t eaten termites…